Benjamin Franklin spent the better part of his 30s living among a large rafter of turkeys. With his wrinkled sienna breeches and gout-ravaged neck, he was accepted as a native and referred to as G’b’Lb the Silver-Quilled. This experience colored his future political career; he worked tirelessly to enshrine additional rights for turkeys and turkey-kin into the constitution (one initial draft counted all Galliformes as 5/3s of a person). Franklin’s furious efforts to establish Received Gob as the official language of the United States are lost to time, but the derived idiom “to talk turkey” survives to this day.
